I was born 35 years ago in a family with lots of conflicts. My mother and father were two people with very different perspectives about life. My father was a very religous person while my mother was not religous at all. For example, wearing hijab was a value for my father but my mother never wore a hijab. They would get in lots of argument because of that. Later, I learned being like my mother, not wearing a hijab, can put my life in trouble, so to survive I decided to attach to my aunt, my father’s sister.
I got adapted learning abusive relationships was the world. Ofcourse, none of these can be an excuse to turn what I had done to myself ok. They just explain and provide a chance for me to change, to live a healthy life.
As an abused Child, I always would get attracted and fall for abusive people and relationships.
As an Ok Child, I wanted not to be abuse or to do harm.
The first good thing that I did for myself was to get introduced to the TA. The winner inside me found a therapist who was a winner. That’s the real I, I learned.
I started my change and growth when I was 25 or 26 years old. For those who have done changes through therapy, I need not to mention as they know how painful and difficult it is to throw away adapted, childhood, programing as the programmings have become a part of who the person indentifies him or her self with. and for those who have always lived a similar way, no change, let me tell you it takes a whole lots of courage, power, strenghts, work, paitient, forgiveness, love, want, will, objetcive data processing, care and so on and so forth to change.
My life now has a light sheding on it. My life now is about my furthur growth and change as my therapy continues. My life now is about discovering the real person who I am.
My life now is about learning there is a god who loves me whithin myself and not outside .
My life now is about discovering the god within myself, the peace and my true happiness.
